Day Dreams and Nightmares
When I visited Amacker this morning she went on and on about what a great day she had yesterday. So many people came to see her -- Fred even flew in from LA -- and all that attention meant the world to her. Thank you all so much for giving her such a great day!
Her schedule today is as follows:
10-11a: Occupational Therapy
1-2p: Speech Therapy
3-4p: Physical Therapy
You can visit during those times, but be prepared to be a cheerleader when you do!
I spent a few hours with Amacker this morning, and helped put her back together after what seems to have been a rough night and early morning. She's having some fairly intense nightmares. She also gets trapped in the semi-awake state, where she wants to wake up and make the nightmares stop, but she is too tired. She even cries out inside her head, but I've been there when she said, "I was calling for you. Why didn't you come." I think she is calling in her head, but nothing comes out. The doctors assured me it's a symptom of the trauma, not the medicine that's causing the nightmares.
She has some fears of abandonment. She has some fears that her life won't be there when she gets back to it. The more I talk to her, I'm realizing that the cat is a metaphor for her whole life -- the beautiful network of friends, and art, and festivals that are everything she loves. She doesn't miss the cat as much as she misses her life. She isn't worried that the cat won't be there when she gets out. She's worried that her life won't be there when she gets out.
Because of those fears, and some very real frustration with slow-moving nurses reacting to her very real needs, Amacker was fairly out-of-sorts this morning. It took a long time of talking to calm her down, but she's much better now.
Her schedule today is as follows:
10-11a: Occupational Therapy
1-2p: Speech Therapy
3-4p: Physical Therapy
You can visit during those times, but be prepared to be a cheerleader when you do!
I spent a few hours with Amacker this morning, and helped put her back together after what seems to have been a rough night and early morning. She's having some fairly intense nightmares. She also gets trapped in the semi-awake state, where she wants to wake up and make the nightmares stop, but she is too tired. She even cries out inside her head, but I've been there when she said, "I was calling for you. Why didn't you come." I think she is calling in her head, but nothing comes out. The doctors assured me it's a symptom of the trauma, not the medicine that's causing the nightmares.
She has some fears of abandonment. She has some fears that her life won't be there when she gets back to it. The more I talk to her, I'm realizing that the cat is a metaphor for her whole life -- the beautiful network of friends, and art, and festivals that are everything she loves. She doesn't miss the cat as much as she misses her life. She isn't worried that the cat won't be there when she gets out. She's worried that her life won't be there when she gets out.
Because of those fears, and some very real frustration with slow-moving nurses reacting to her very real needs, Amacker was fairly out-of-sorts this morning. It took a long time of talking to calm her down, but she's much better now.
6 Comments:
Nice insight, Richard.
Wednesday certainly was a good day; she was much more energetic and alert than the day before. I'm glad everyone just showed up the 4th. I was afraid she'd think everybody had just forgotten about her on the holiday...
jay
As usual, Rob Brezny has some inspired words that I think relate:
Aries Horoscope for week of July 5, 2007
Verticle Oracle card Aries (March 21-April 19)
The bad news: Charlie and Sharon Reed, a couple in Dallas, had their old VW convertible stolen. The good news: By the time police recovered the car three months later, the thieves had given it a new paint job, and had fixed its cracked windshield and dented bumpers. Let's make this your metaphor of the week, Aries. I predict that you, too, will be reunited with something you lost, and it will be in better shape than it was before you were separated.
Try not to be scared, Amacker - sometimes our respective terrible traumatic events serve to remind us how much people care about us. You have a tonne of excellent people around you, who obviously love you immensely, and another tonne* rooting for you all around the world. (canadians "do" metric - it's a bigger ton).
I know it's hard but try to breathe in that love to heal the bits of you that are scared. The love around you is palpable from thousands of miles away, which is why I keep coming back here, even though we've never met. You've got strangers sending you good vibes (thanks, Neil Gaiman's blog), touched to the core by how much love there is for this evidently amazing woman.
You're getting better fast! Am I right, you're having what they call an "amazing recovery"?!
fbZdi6 write more, thanks.
Thanks to author.
Thanks to author.
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