Six Weeks
It was six weeks ago last night that Amacker rode her bike down in a fiery rage of steal, rubber, leather, cement, flesh and blood. For my father it is that image that has haunted him – the thought of what it must have been like for his daughter to know she was going down, and perhaps the helplessness of knowing he couldn't be there to catch her.
Amacker returned home yesterday to see her cats and bird for the first time since the accident. (Gargamel made a hospital, but the rest waited at home.) The plan for the next few weeks is a little less clear to me than the ones past. I don’t know when Amacker will start walking and dancing again. I don’t know when she’ll stop feeling pain. I don’t know when all her wounds will heal over and no longer need dressings and bandages. I don’t know when she’ll type with two hands or stop losing her voice after only a few hours of talking. I don’t know when she’ll climb the stairs to her parapet and cast spells on her world around her. Those things are all up to her. She will push herself harder than she should. My goodness she's moving so quickly. She will get frustrated. She will need help. But really, it’s all up to her.
I do know that my work here on this blog is done. I know it’s done because I can now look Amacker in the eyes and tell her I love her and know she heard me. That’s all I wanted throughout all this. If I can do it, so can you, so you don’t need me chronicling her further journey.
For me the underlying, sometimes crippling fear since the accident has been the realization of just how fragile we all are. I have found myself in tears with the thought that I might walk out my front door and not see again for six weeks the people I love… if ever. I wonder if the people I love know well enough how much I love them -- to know it even if I could never say it again.
I guess there's a lesson in everything.
Amacker returned home yesterday to see her cats and bird for the first time since the accident. (Gargamel made a hospital, but the rest waited at home.) The plan for the next few weeks is a little less clear to me than the ones past. I don’t know when Amacker will start walking and dancing again. I don’t know when she’ll stop feeling pain. I don’t know when all her wounds will heal over and no longer need dressings and bandages. I don’t know when she’ll type with two hands or stop losing her voice after only a few hours of talking. I don’t know when she’ll climb the stairs to her parapet and cast spells on her world around her. Those things are all up to her. She will push herself harder than she should. My goodness she's moving so quickly. She will get frustrated. She will need help. But really, it’s all up to her.
I do know that my work here on this blog is done. I know it’s done because I can now look Amacker in the eyes and tell her I love her and know she heard me. That’s all I wanted throughout all this. If I can do it, so can you, so you don’t need me chronicling her further journey.
For me the underlying, sometimes crippling fear since the accident has been the realization of just how fragile we all are. I have found myself in tears with the thought that I might walk out my front door and not see again for six weeks the people I love… if ever. I wonder if the people I love know well enough how much I love them -- to know it even if I could never say it again.
I guess there's a lesson in everything.
9 Comments:
Beautiful, Richard. Thank you so much. Even someone like me who doesnt know Amacker very well, has been touched, inspired, and comforted by knowing her progress.
"...the world owes us nothing; we owe each other the world..." -ani difranco
Dear Mr. Bullwinkle Jr. Also kindest Thanks also to Mr Bullwinkle Sr. We Appreciate You~
Note: It took me 5 months to stand again after a drunk driver ran over me and i suspect it will take Lady Amacker a few days to come back to doing handstands... but that is how things work,,, at least now we can hold what is precious in our time that is alive and kind and loving.
Us: We are Ladies and We are Gracious;Kind;Loving;Giving; Considerate; Compassionate; We adorn this world. We are the Best of the Best. Amacker told me this. These are the things Amacker gave to me and You... All we are here to do is Kindly Love Each Other~
http://ccmixter.org/media/reviews/Pitx/7168#26163
iisaiis
I hope you do keep blogging! I've loved reading your stuff. And not all of us can be there to help out in person. Please keep up on the blow-by-blow descriptions, so we can root and cheer and send good vibes and prayers when necessary!
Richard, it's cliche but true that words cannot express how much you've helped the whole community throughout these past weeks by keeping us so well informed, entertained, and in the loop. You've allowed us all to process and work appropriately with excellent information cradled with your compassion and wit. Your tireless and timely posts are part of what has helped the healing in more ways than you'll probably ever know. We can't thank you enough, but thank you we do, and we all want you to know how much love we have for you and the gift you've given us by sharing everything you could through your writings and your caring. You're my personal hero of the eternal hour. I wish you and all your loved ones all the fabulous blessings you deserve, and many many more wild, weird, strange, impossible gifts of life and love throughout your journeys.
love in the light
shin
Thank you. Thank you more than I can say. Much love and luck to you, to Amacker, and to everybody.
Thanks for article!
Thanks for interesting article.
Glad to read articles like this. Thanks to author!
Excellent website. Good work. Very useful. I will bookmark!
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