Song of the Day: I. C. U. Baby

Well, really the song is called "I See You, Baby (Shakin' That Ass)", but when your big sister leaves the ICU after 3 1/2 weeks, you just gotta dance!

Turn it up loud!

It's true. Amacker left the ICU yesterday. All the nurses came out to wave goodbye and said they'd miss her. The nurse who admitted her discharged her, a joy they don't always have, and everyone was really happy.

Don't jump in the car, yet!
Amacker is now in the Cardiac wing, still under 24 hour care. For the next 3 or 4 days they'll continue to have Amacker under pretty close watch while they see how she adjusts to the new environment, and they've asked us to keep non-family visitors away until after Monday, but very soon she'll want to see you guys. I should clarify that she's not in the Cardiac ward because of a heart problem. It's just a wing where they have close care, but not as over-whelming as the ICU. (probably not as expensive either)

If things go well over the next few days, and they appear to be going great, then she'll move into a normal hospital room Tuesday or so.

Amacker has been talkative at times, though still a little childlike. She is funny and cute and sweet, and glad to have us around. She got a little restless last night and tried to pull out her feeding tube, so they sedated her a bit. She's drowsy this morning, but so much more alert than just a few days ago.

Anyway, today's song is something to get your rump shaking. Amacker is kicking and dancing and stretching. She's so happy to be awake, and we are so happy to dance with her!

Groove Armada, with the help of Fatboy Slim, performing "I See You, Baby (Shakin' That Ass)"

No News Is Good News

At 10 tonight Amacker was funny and silly and very aware of where she is. She could touch her nose with her hand, wiggle everything... she even stuck her tongue out at someone. She's doing just great, and I'm so happy to see her being... Amacker! Even her voice is starting to sound like her again.

Tonight she said, "You know what really sucks?"

I replied, "George Bush?"

And then she said, "Yeah, George Bush made my hair really dirty."

She's able to remember between visits what's broken and the basic details of what happened to her. Everything is starting to make more sense to her.

I should note that I'm taking a quick day trip to L.A. tomorrow to speak to the unwashed masses about the virtues of networked entertainment. (I'm not real sure what that means either.)

With a 6AM flight, I won't get a chance to visit Amacker until later in the evening tomorrow when I get back. Alden will be there throughout the day, and Dad will be there tomorrow night. Amacker will be well entertained.

If anything exciting happens Alden will phone me and I'll post from my phone. If you don't see anything, well, nothing exciting happened.

It might also be worth noting that I've been thinking about my exit strategy. Fairly soon Amacker will be well enough to move to a normal hospital room, have guests, read, rehabilitate, write, etc. I think at that point I might just hand it over to her, perhaps just to avoid the feeling that I'm talking behind someone's back while they're in the room. I'll make sure there is no lapse in information, but I just wanted to say that, unlike so many blogs people read regularly, this one has a very clear goal and, at least for me, will come to an end.

For now, though, I'm very much enjoying putting the events in words, and very flattered that so many of you have said such nice things to me.

It really is, however, about Amacker.

The Quick Version

I was just reading through comments and realized that not everyone has time to read everything here... duh. So, for a quick update just look over there to the right. --->

I'll always keep a very short version of the latest info there. Sorry about that.

Song of the Day: Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

I can't imagine what is like to sit in a bed waiting to start your life up again, and especially in that semi-dream state she's in from all the chemicals flowing through the tubes.

A long time ago there was a band called Men at Work who had several hit songs including "Down Under"... you know, with the Vegemite sandwich, and "Who Can It Be Now?" and "Overkill." They were a pretty cool band, but the soul of the band was a Scottish singer/songwriter named Colin Hay.

Hay has since gone on to create some wonderful mostly acoustic stuff. I try to catch him whenever he's in San Francisco.

Anyway, as Amacker sits in the ICU waiting to go back to her life, I hope you'll take a moment to enjoy today's song of the day:

Colin Hay performing "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin"

Thanks to Mikey for the VERY Amacker picture. It's hard to imagine she'd ever get in an accident...uh...

More Funny Things She Said

Amacker no longer uses an oxygen mask to breathe, and her voice strengthens with each visit. I'm told by one of the folks who sneaked in to see her yesterday (I'm sorry for being strict about that, but the nurses really got unhappy about it) that when a nurse was poking and prodding her, she told the nurse to go f*ck herself. Now THAT'S Amacker.

I know some of you are clamoring to know what her first words were, but it was very hard to hear her then. Also, we were so excited that we kind of lost track of everything.

This morning Alden asked Amacker if she was in pain, and Amacker replied, "No, I'm in boredom." I think she's frustrated with being kept in bed and kept in the ICU. I'm sure she wants to explore and dance, but she really can't. She's still got tubes in and out, and she still doesn't follow important commands (the very thought of Amacker following ANY commands, sheesh!), so they still have to feed her through a tube in her nose. When she can swallow when they ask her to they'll give her food through her mouth.

This morning Amacker met with a physical therapist who analized what she can and can't do, and what she's ready to start working on. She was VERY positive. She's a little worried that Amacker may not have the ability to raise her toes on her left foot, but hopes to gain that control back. She also said that Amacker would be visited by three ghosts... no wait. She'll be visited by three therapists. A vocal therapist will help her get her voice back. An occupational therapist will help her get the skills she needs to go back to work. (I didn't have the heart to tell them that they'll have to rehabilitate her for building flame-throwing dragon motorcycles.)

In the meantime, we're taking shifts to keep her entertained, at least during the visiting hours. When we left this morning she said, "Don't go. Nothing ever happens here."

Thanks to Kevin for the picture of Amacker in a bizarre coat.

Top 5 Funny Things Amacker Said Today

Amacker was pretty funny today. Her voice is raspy and quiet, but her personality is all there. Here are a few gems from the day...

#5. "My breath tastes like Saturday morning."

#4. "I stink!" (She doesn't, but has a food tube down her nose, so that might smell funny.)

#3. "This feels like a very bad game."

#2. "Get me OUT of here!"

And the funniest thing she said, and certainly the one thing her family members really don't want to hear right now...

#1. "I miss my bike."

Thanks to Paul for the cute picture.

The Rules

Sorry to have to say it again, but Amacker really cannot have visitors outside of family yet. Alden and I got griped at by a nurse today, because it seems some of Amacker's friends came to visit her while we were in the cafeteria. I tried to take a picture of "The Rules" as posted outside the I.C.U., but my cellphone's camera is lousy.

I know you really want to see her. In fact, I know she really wants to see you, But I'm sorry, you just cannot. The I.C.U. is strictly family only.

Hopefully very soon she will be in a room where you all can visit her, but even then we have plans to keep it organized.

Thanks for your help in this.

Leave a Comment, Kill a Tree

Maybe that's not the right motivation, killing trees, but it's time to leave a comment if you haven't yet.

Though I'm not sure she'll want the details that often appear here, or my silly brotherly jokes, Amacker will certainly want to know that all of you missed her and checked on her progress frequently. There's even talk of printing the blog and all the comments in bound book form. (Thus the "kill a tree" title.)

Anyway, if you post anonymously, be sure to put your name somewhere in what you write, but by all means POST! It's easy to do. Just click on the link below each little blog that says "# Comments." It'll guide you through the rest.

Song of the Day: Welcome Back

Amacker is doing great!

She is smiling, and looking puzzled, and stretching, and trying to talk, and wincing, and crying, but it's all her. I'm not exactly sure how much she really understands, but she'll squeeze a hand or smile at a stupid joke. She seems to gain more focus with each visit.

We're told we'll have to tell her the story of where she is and why about a hundred times before she remembers it. For a long time she's been on some medications that make her forget, and it will take a while for those to wear off. I've already figured out that it's better to tell her that she's been in an accident than to mention that her bike is no longer with us. That seems to upset her, so we'll save that little fact until later.

Anyway, she's doing much better, and very soon will start telling us what she needs and what she dreamed about. Right now she sleeps a lot.

And from the darkest recesses of your brain, today's song of the day:

John Sebastian performing "Welcome Back"

Extubated

Just a quick post from my phone (who knew you could do that?)...

About an hour ago they removed Amacker's breathing tubes. She can't talk and has an oxygen mask on her face, but she's breathing unassisted.

More to come soon!

Song of the Day: Helpless

The image of Amacker this morning, very sentient, but unable to tell us what she needs, unable to advocate for herself, and unable to make the pain stop has really stuck with me. I know it was just a moment and that things are much better now. They have reintroduced her pain medication and her sedation. I know she's resting soundly again. I know that her activity was a sign that she's healing and ready to start rehabilitation soon. I'm just very sad for her to have had that moment.

From his recently released Live at Massey Hall, Neil Young performing "Helpless"

Great News... Though Not Complete

Amacker was very awake this morning at 10. She squeezed Alden's hand when Alden asked her to, and she had very controlled motions and reactions. Great news!

There are some concerns as to why she was that awake. We were told by a very unhelpful nurse, "Oh yes, she passed her breathing trial this morning. She's ready to be extubated." But then after further questions she revealed that they need to replace/change/move? the line that gives Amacker her sedation and pain drugs, and that she'll need to be heavily sedated for that procedure. I asked when they'd replace that line, or put in some other sort of line, and she didn't know.

In other words, it seems that due to clerical issues, they're going to delay removing Amacker's breathing tubes a bit longer. In the meantime, Amacker seems much too sentient to have a tube down her throat, and I'm also concerned that she may not have a stream of pain medication. Needless to say, I'm hiding the tone I used when I spoke to the nurse, the nurse's manager, the doctors, etc. I was... well, stern.

Alden is waiting at the hospital until we see clear progress. I'll write just as soon as I hear something more definitive.

Thanks To...?

Thanks very much to the person who asked the hospital's Guest Services to take extra good care of us. We got a handful of free parking passes, and Amacker got a nice Stanford robe and blanket... and some other stuff.

The thing we don't know was who did this nice thing for us. Whomever you are, we're very grateful!

It's 6PM and the Dykes Are Dancing

It's Gay Pride Weekend in San Francisco. That may not mean anything to readers far away, but here in the Bay Area it is an annual celebration of diversity, and Amacker loves to go to the parade each year and show support for her friends in the gay and lesbian community. Amacker will be sad to have missed the party.

I hope everyone had a marvelous time!

It's funny, but Amacker kind of ticks off time by celebrations. She is always looking forward to a trip, or a festival, or a concert... something. As most of you know, the big one each year for her is Burning Man. It looms off in the distance there on Labor Day weekend. I doubt she'll be ready to travel to the desert that soon, but oh how she'll try.

(very minor clarification: A distant family friend read this post and wrote that she hadn't realized Amacker was gay. She's not. Lots of straight folks in San Francisco go to the Pride Parade. It's a very peaceful Civil Rights movement.)

Can't Keep Her Down

Amacker was extremely active during our visit this afternoon. She's reaching out, kicking her legs around, and really trying to squirm her way out of bed. As has been the case, she doesn't respond when we ask her to do specific things, but she's very active.

It is also worth noting that most of the swelling around Amacker's body has gone. The bandage that covered the place where they took her skin graft is also gone. All her cuts and scrapes are healing nicely, if not gone.